A Temp Misfiled My Akashic Record
Mercury had been retrograde for only about three days when my computer got sick and almost died leaving me with limited contact to the world at large, and I did what any freelance writer working from a home office would do. I freaked.
To gain solace, I turned to a source many others do during troublesome times: I grabbed the morning newspaper and checked my horoscope. Things did not look good.
If you follow astrology closely, as I do—and by that I mean you read your horoscope daily—it’s likely you know that Mercury controls communications through the Zodiac. You are probably also aware of the effects of Mercury Retrograde—a situation in which a reverse motion of the planet, universally messes communications about. At this time it is likely to cause you problems with your computer, or your cell phone, or your roommate.
Although the event is described as a “backward movement” that’s simply an expression; it is not a physical experience. Tell that to my jangly nerves. My world might have been at a standstill, but it sure felt wobbly. My computer’s faulty power supply temporarily disconnected me from the outside world and I was jonesing for the World Wide Web.
Without email or Internet access, I had some time to kill. I leaned back in my chair, stared at my office wall, and began to speculate about the consequential effects Mercury Retrograde was having on the Akashic Records.
What Goes Around Comes Around
The Akashic Records are a cosmic library that holds all past, present, and future activities. It has been described as a sort of a warehouse for all thoughts, all feelings, for every emotion, for everyone who has ever lived and is most often described in its Sanskrit terms as “hidden library.”
For me, knowing about the Records has taken a bit of the mystery out of clairvoyant readings and maybe a bit of the fun, too. Since the Records are available to anyone with the ability to tune into its special frequency of energy, that is how those fancy mystic types know what happened to you, when it happened, and what/who will happen in your future. The real psychics, I mean, not those carny-style amateurs.
When I first learned about this celestial library and its availability to all of us who wish to understand our specific soul’s destiny and mission, it took some time to digest this truly fascinating and mind-bending concept. Hidden or not, that is some library. And I came to understand the saying “there’s no such thing as an original idea.”
Here’s why.
The Library is Open 24/7
Every emerging writer has a complaint about a pilfered newspaper story, a stolen novel storyline, or a pinched movie plot. Comedians, too, tell tales of filched jokes and stolen punch lines. Business colleagues, too, tell me that in the physical world, there’s a certain amount of lifting and unauthorized lending, such as co-workers who “borrowed” ideas and passed them off as their own. This is precisely what happened to me when a co-worker made a clever remark in a business meeting and got a collective laugh. I looked around the room, incredulous at the reaction. She’d repeated one of my more witty comebacks to a better response than I’d ever managed.
At the time, I thought the gal might have overheard me joking with another employee and forgetting where she’d heard the joke, felt safe in claiming the quip as her own. Or, perhaps she was simply mocking me. I’m still not sure. It wasn’t until much later when I learned about the Akashic Records that I’d considered the possibility that she might have nicked the joke from my files, telepathically.
On this day, staring out the window of my office, I wondered who else might have picked through my deep space files. Were others poking around my stuff, stealing article ideas from my query letters—written as well as those I’d merely conceived mentally? I wondered: Was this the reason for the remarkably high number of absent job offers and writing assignments of late?
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It’s no surprise then that the anxious, realistic freelance writer in me got to thinking about copyright infringement, while the pragmatic corporate writer I’ve reluctantly become wondered how to restrict use, and abuse, of said Records.
I imagined the simplest solution was to convert the Records to an online, database and control access to it with rigorous security features. How could this be achieved? I did not know, but I did know that just by thinking about it, I would commit the suggestion to the Library and one or two others would pick up on it, not really understanding where the idea came from, and they would look after the details. Satisfied, I leaned back in my chair and soon nodded off.
Even in light sleep, my intellect wouldn’t let go. I dreamed of mystics working alongside software developers who set stringent guidelines for populating the database, implementing strong security measures, and enforcing restricted access. Forty winks later, I had also formulated a tiered fee structure for users.
Following the Trend
With three full days sans computer, I decided to give my Akashic Records conversion project sober attention. So, I took up residence in my office chair and closed my eyes.
To complete this project quickly and profitably, it must be outsourced. Current trends had proven third-party administration to be lucrative, regardless of concerns of accuracy and dependability; however, the implementation and maintenance of celestial record-keeping can tricky, so we must be vigilant. What would make this project even more challenging is the potential interruption of spiritual connectedness and lack of accessibility to the Library due to traffic volume caused by those that do it the old-fashioned way—with clairvoyance.
My head was beginning to ache and I was getting bogged down in details. Was it Internet withdrawal, or the knowledge that the ways in which we could mess this up, too, were endless?
My Personal Files
Sitting straight up in my chair, I wondered if it was wise to make every aspect of one’s life available to anyone with a wireless connection?
However we address accessibility issues, the sooner it’s implemented, the better. After all, I don’t want anyone accessing my personal data. There’s some very embarrassing stuff in there. There’s closeted artistry and career failure; there are many impure thoughts about some rather famous people; and there are many highly embarrassing vents from and extended rebellious phase that echoed from my teens into my 30’s.
In addition, there are a few other situations that I like to pretend did not happen and several others that I continue to deny ever too place. ( Even with recorded digital proof, I refute my behaviour.) And I don’t wish to share them. Potentially humiliating memories are supposed to remain secret. Isn’t that the closet’s sole purpose?
Earlier in this essay, I described the Library as “a warehouse for all thoughts, all feelings, for every emotion, for everyone who has ever lived.” Do we really want to allow everyone handy with a laptop and WIFI to tap into our personal goings-on?
Restricting User Access
Even if we force every online member to register with a userid and password, security will be an issue. There will be hackers, especially if user fees apply. Plus, there’s the matter of unlimited access by those in the spectral arts, too. Remember, there are folks who already access the Akashic Records on a metaphysical level and they’ll continue to have free and unrestricted access unless we can find a way to tighten right-of-use around these mystic files.
This is called a “glitch,” I believe.
Mission Accomplished?
I believe in serendipity, in fate, in celestial hook-ups. I also believe in the existence of these existential files. And because I am not the sort of person to blow off happenstance, I strongly suspect that someone picked up my cosmic vibe while I as napping off my Internet withdrawal and began renovation of the Library without me. And in the process, a temporarily worker misplaced my file.
Sure things are slightly out of whack during Mercury’s retrograde, but this astrological phase disrupted communications in my social life as well as slowed production in my professional life. It has also messed about my spiritual life, too.
I know this because in addition to a number of missing work assignments and my to access the Akashic Records in search of potential job offers and paid writing assignments failed. I cannot explicitly say what’s wrong, so I am putting it Out There. Because, if the latent thesis of this essay is that enlightened individuals are sure to pick up the thought and maybe he or she will track down those missing job offers, or at the very least lockdown access to my competitors.
In fact, if you’re reading this essay in any form and want to get in touch, please email me; don’t just leave a mental note, as there’s no guarantee I’ll get it. Prospective employers, too, please make note of my email address. I prefer to get job offers in writing.