Standing in the Shadows
We used to have a tall, 20-year-old maple tree in our backyard. The tree’s outstretched branches provided a respite for birds, a jumping off point for squirrels, and occasionally, and a pit stop for racoons on the run. And each year, from May until November, the tree provided coverage for much-needed privacy from (and for) neighbours whose homes back onto ours. In late fall and throughout the winter months, without leaves to block the view, I get a clear view of a row of 15 carbon-copy houses.
On windy nights, especially in the spring and fall, the tree would groan and creak and on blustery, rainy nights, I imagined that it might crash through the ceiling of our home in some Griswald-like comedic fashion. I was raised in a semi-rural neighbourhood, in Northwestern Ontario, where our home was surrounded by an acre of land and bordered by evergreen and Dutch elm trees. The property was populated with bushes—lilac, raspberry, and rose—and when the wind howled through our tiny homestead in the depth of cold, snowy February nights none of the trees around us groaned like our maple tree. To me, this was an indication that the tree was sick. It was.
Long after the tree had been felled and chopped into firewood, I noticed that the evergreen tree that used to stand in the maple tree’s shadow had grown considerably. Where it had once leaned slightly to the right, away from the maple, the evergreen’s curve straightened a little. Without the large maple tree blocking sunlight, the slow-growing evergreen was flourishing.
As I stare out the window of my office, as writers are wont to do, the space where the maple leafs used to cross my view, I miss what bit of nature we suburban dwellers have. And in pondering that empty space, the evergreen tree became an obvious metaphor for how we sometimes hide behind friends, family members, spouses, lovers, colleagues, and coworkers—how we sometimes allow them to stand in the light while we remain in the shadows. In doing this, we bend away from them, lean to, and grow in, the other direction. We allow those we believe are mightier (in strength, belief, opinion) to overshadow us. We bend in their shadow. Allow them to block our light.
Sometimes it’s circumstances that push us from standing tall, or a job that won’t allow to stretch to our fullest height. Sometimes it’s our own insecurity that keeps us in the shadows of others, or in the shadow of fear.
While the evergreen in our back garden began to thrive only when the maple tree was removed, for us, it can simply be a matter of moving a little to the left or right, and sharing in the light.
Whatever casts shadows across your life, whether it is a person, or a perception, or a belief, don’t wait on it to clear the way for you. Stand tall in the light and the shadow will fade.
Task: Take it outdoors. Step outdoors, take a walk, sit on a patio, or a park bench, or simply take stock of the view from public transportation. From the what you observe in your surroundings (using nature as a guide), write five metaphors for your life. Next, write five descriptive phrases that represent the way you would like your life to be. Work towards making those statements true.